what situation do I need to see with God's eyes rather than my own? hmmm....well since forever, I always had an inferiority complex. Well, it is pretty normal for most people to have this issue.....well, i think. I always looked down on myself because I focus too much on other people's good points and see all my bad points. My good points were always in the shadows of someone else. I was/is jealous of people's intelligence, looks, personality......basically all the compounds that make up a person. When I think about this, i feel so foolish. I never realized how consumed I was/am in today's society. I realize that I am jealous of society's standards of intelligence, looks, personality.....and etc. It is not God's standards. I don't think He expects those things from me. I believe that He expects things that are more important like trust, faith.......not intelligence, looks, or personality. When i say personality, i mean the kind that is compatible with most people. Well, this is important to get along with people, but I do realize that I don't need to please everyone. I only need to please God. I am just so worried about these tangent things....I am not looking at the big picture. I can't help it....I admit that I do get distracted by worldly things.
I know that God loves me just the way I am. ALthough, I seem to struggle to accept me for me. There are times when I question as to why love me? I feel like I am unworthy of this love..... it is because I am unworthy. Despite my unworthiness, He still loves me no matter what. I can't change it, can't deny it, I can't do anything about it.....I guess to save myself from this pool of inferiority, I need to let go of the standards that the world has put in front of me.
Imagine having God's eyes. Looking down, you see your child. You are hurt because you see her/him feel so down about themselves because if you are truly a loving parent, then you would never want to see your child beat herself/himself up. You never want to see them live their life comparing themselves to other people. Then the thought appears...."Dear child of mines, Haven't I given you enough? What more do you want? Are you truly unsatisfied? Why do you want such things? What do you want me to do? Why would you want those things, you are perfect the way you are. I thought I have given you all that I can give? The reason I can't give you such things is because I have a plan of how I want to raise you. You may not see it now, but if you be patient, you will see. Your life is different from everyone else. I can't give you the same qualities that I have given to so and so. I have given you something different that only you have. I love you because I gave you life....you are practically a part of me. It saddens me to see that you don't see the gifts that I have given you, especially the gift of life...." .......yeh, ok maybe He is not thinking that, well that's what i see when i picture myself in God's shoes, which is really really really hard because I don't know what He is thinking, I am not Him....I can only imagine.
Well, I do see the gifts He has given me. It's just that I see other people have the same gifts and more. I shouldn't be jealous because there are more blessings to come and seriously I need to be less selfish. I really am impatient. I know that it takes time, I am still growing in height XP, age D:, and faith XD. It just takes time.......
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that perspective of how God is viewing us is really good. often times we don't think about how God is thinking, and actually i really believe what you said is along the lines of how we should be thinking. God has given us so much, and we're still hating ourselves...it IS amazing how God would still love us. the hardest thing is understanding and sometimes accepting the love we've received. anyways, thanks michelle.
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